| | Today during eighth period band we just sat around and talked, which I assume was because our band director was simply too exhausted to carry on with our out-of-tune squeaks and so on. So towards the end of the period we sat in a circle and we all got into a heavy discussion about politics.
It started out as a conversation about Black History Month because we have to play a short selection of pieces for the presentation being put together for Friday Focus. Somebody said "All we ever study in history is white people" and I said "Well don't blame the students for the fact that the United States citizens haven't elected a black President." That kind of shut people up, but most of the group was nodding.
Then somebody started on about Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton. One of the guys said "As long as Clinton doesn't win, I'm good to go. If she wins, I'm moving to Canada." I bit my tongue so hard at that moment it was close to bleeding.
It wasn't because I want Hilary Clinton to win, but because that guy is a sexist pig. Grrr. His comment just really irked me.
But besides that irkyness, we talked about some of the policies that Clinton was supporting. I didn't say a word throughout that entire part of the discussion.
So as I left the band room, I had a really powerful thought. Should I have said something in the conversation?
Let's start off with some facts. I go to school in hick country. No offense to the people there (who are the best people around), but it's the south. It's the Bible Belt. I simply don't fit in with "southern ideals". There are very strong connections to the main church in town right there in the band room. (the daughter of the preacher)
Don't get me wrong. I have great respect for each and every one of the people in that room (minus the sexist pig). I understand their morals and their beliefs and I have no problem with how they feel about important issues. The only thing I'm afraid of, I suppose, is that they would think less of me for sharing my beliefs.
When I get down to the dirty of this matter, it's all about being myself or only being some of myself. I would rather be my anarchist, atheistic self. But sometimes I think it's necessary to hold back to fit in with the republican, christian crowd.
I usually don't believe in holding back. I really don't. I am usually very upfront about how I feel about certain issues and my opinions and beliefs come through in any conversation. (Not like, "I think this and you're wrong." It's just obvious in the way I think and act.)
So why is it so hard for me to be myself now? I have no clue. Maybe it's because I know that I have two more years to be with these band peoples through marching seasons and concerts and parades and more. But it isn't that. Maybe it's because I don't want there to be chaos simply over beliefs. I don't want World War III in the band room.
The people of the band already know that I'm pretty damn liberal. But I'm not just liberal anymore, I'm radical.
In conclusion, I think that I'm going to keep this to myself. There are some parts of me that I'm fine with them seeing, but my political views and opinions on moral issues aren't necessary to have functioning friendships and relationships. (If I do get into a relationship, however, I will make it loud and clear. I think that if you really love somebody, beliefs don't get in the way. Unfortunately, this isn't always so.)
So I'm not really sure what conclusion I just came to. Leave me some comments, let me know what you think about the situation.
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| | Posted 2/7/2007 6:22 PM - 14 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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